...a difficulty of the human spirit.

"We are at last face to face with the fact that our difficulty is a difficulty of the human spirit."

Regardless of our generation, our identity, our contexts, transitions are constant and often necessary if not entirely welcome.  This we all share. 

Yet, transitions feel uniquely: Personal, Isolating, Confusing, Longer than necessary.  This too we share.

We say we want to be happier. What we really want is significance, to be at home with oneself and to like it. 

And so our difficulty is “a difficulty of the human spirit.” 

To find your way is best done in community.  Our next round table discussion “All Things Transitions” is focused on discernment—making use of what we already know to get a little closer to the significance we aspire for.

https://www.mosaicscoaching.com/event-details/all-things-transitions-1

Permission

“You have permission to stray, not to get lost” is the best translation I can offer. On the Chemin de Compostelle, signs with short messages were peppered along the way and I found this one to be of particular interest.  

While walking, my thoughts strayed. And on the trail I met a women recently retired who confessed she wasn't sure why she set out in the first place. Sometimes I almost strayed off the trail because I didn't pay enough attention to the blazes and another traveler added an extra hour of walking because she missed a blaze all together.

We stray. The potential benefits are real if unquantifiable. I found inspiration when I followed my thoughts wherever they took me. Perhaps the retired woman found an unexpected purpose for setting out. I became more observant to avoid loosing my path. And the lady who missed the blaze decided she needed to go home.

The potential to stray is the potential to wander and come back to ourselves with a little more information and perhaps with a greater capacity to avoid truly losing ourselves. Perhaps this is at the core of transitions. The crummy messy middle is a call to stray just enough so we don't get lost; so we don't simply repeat changes but rather become more powerful in our capacity to discern what comes next.

Cultures of Belonging

When I go back to France and even more generally to Europe, my husband remarks that I am different. He and I both know I am the same person, but his observation acknowledges that being back where I grew up draws out another range of sensibilities, thought patterns, and ways of being that get obscured when I am not there.

For a long time I was perplexed—after all, were these subtleties an expression of disingenuity?   Today I don’t think so.  Being at home differently depending on place and context is appropriate, even a gift.

I observe a similar experience among my clients as they make sense of their life transitions. In essence, redesigning one’s future is to find a renewed sense of belonging.  bell hooks refers to the ‘culture of belonging’ and describes her process as “Healing that spirit meant for me remembering myself, taking the bits and pieces of my life and putting them together again.”

To be at home with oneself in new contexts is, indeed, a blessing. And something my clients understand is the value of community and helpful guides. If you are interested and want more conversation with fellow travelers,join us .for our round table conversations

 All Things Transitions is free, you just need to register.