Perspective series #1: Submerged or Emerged?

What if…and…

Feeling stuck about next steps is generally a state of ambivalence—wanting something different without clarity of knowing what or how.  Having mixed feelings are at once a good indication there is something important to figure out and is its own prison if the ambivalence keeps you from moving forward. 

Ambivalence feels a bit like sticky mud, molasses, fog, a seesaw—choose your own metaphor.  To some extent this is a necessary stage, however uncomfortable.  Yet eventually, a decision needs to be made which usually involves letting go of something significant enough to hold us back.  The question is, what is so significant: 

·      A personal narrative that no longer serves us well?

·      Fear of making a mistake?

·      A misplaced expectation?

A starting point is to shift how we talk to ourselves.  Next time ambivalence creeps up and is taking too much space—try stating “what if (what you want) and (what you want)”: 

·      What if I made a salary proportionate to my experience and I felt appreciated?

·      What if I retired and flourished?

·      What if my significant other and I grew closer and got married?

·      What if I moved out of my parents’ house and made ends meet?

What is your “What if…and…?”

Safe journeys, Allyson

What is Worth Cultivating?

Mencius, On Human Nature, says: “When left to follow its natural feelings human nature will do good.  This is why I say it is good.  If it becomes evil, it is not the fault of our original capability.  The sense of mercy is found in all; the sense of shame is found in all; the sense of respect is found in all; the sense of right and wrong is found in all.  The sense of mercy constitutes humanity; the sense of shame constitutes righteousness; the sense of respect constitutes decorum; the sense of right and wrong constitutes wisdom.  Humanity, righteousness, decorum, and wisdom are not something instilled into us from without; they are inherent in our nature.  Only we give them no thought.  Therefore it is said, ‘Seek and you will find them, neglect and you will lose them.’…”

What would it mean to give thought to humanity, righteousness, decorum, and wisdom? 

We teach our children to be kind, compassionate, respectful.  How much do we explore those qualities in ourselves?  For instance, what would it be like to consider “respect” in greater depth?  According to the Oxford Dictionary, we have respect for 1. Something/somebody; 2. We show respect as an act of polite behavior. 

I imagine we consider ourselves to be respectful people; so if we were to give special attention, how would we behave differently?  Would it change how we noticed small gestures we make (or don’t make)?  Would it change how we think of people we dislike or are frustrated by?  Would we find corners in our lives where respect is indeed neglected?  And then what?

I leave you with some questions to consider:

When cultivating ‘respect,’ what is it that you seek?

What is worth being afraid of losing?

What connection do you make between respect, wisdom and humanity?

Thoughts? Safe journeys,  Allyson